Well, I am planning this blog to be short and sweet but I know that never happens once I start I find all this stuff I wanted to say.
Since the last time I blogged, hmm, where to start. I revised obviously and back at uni have seen all my friends so that's been nice. I took myself off to the cinema at some point to see Xmen Origins. I felt really ill whilst I was in watching the film, about three quarters of the way into the film I started feeling really hot and quite unwell. Migrain and unable to cool down. I sat forward and used my slushie drink on my neck but still felt drowsy and wierd. Thought no more of it and went home.
On 5th May the Tuesday I spent the morning in the chaplaincy with Rob revising then had my Biology exam in the afternoon, this went badly at first as I had to ask someone to take me to the room I had my exam in. When I got there (in a panic) my name wasn't on the door with everyone elses. I had no desk, no papers etc singling me out which I hate. The guy in charge made me stand at the front of the room keeping everyone else waiting and they all stared at me. Sweat dripped down my back and I felt a migrain coming on. He then went off to get my papers while I stood up at the board being stared at nowhere to go. He finally came back and everyone started their exam 10 minutes late.
Once I had got over my initial panic I was still having hot flushes and palpatations for the whole of the exam and couldn't really concentrate but did my best. I didn't answer every question and am not sure how I did. All my clothes were soaked by the time I got out and I rushed to the nearest toilet where I changed and washed to cool down. Everyone was meeting up for a drink afterwards but Vicky and I went to get pizza in Pizza Hut instead, preferring comfort eating instead of alcohol. Vicky went off after the pizza to meet up with Marc and Lucy in Voodoo but I felt so full and still a bit wierdy that I went home.
Thursday was our stats exam. I never went to these lectures so I knew this one was going to be a waste of time. I went in the chaplaincy beforehand and chilled. I was feeling wierdly hot again but didn't think much of it. I went panicking as usual to my exam. This time I had a desk number 1 actually right at the front and as I walked in the lady made sure I knew I had more time than anyone else and if I had any problems blah blah, singled out again - great! I basically doodled and messed about until I could leave. This time I had brought clean clothes, deo spray etc and went and got changed before going back to the chaplaincy.
In what was christianity explored and then discipleship explored now extended kindly by David to revelation chapters 1-5 explored we discussed Revelation and had a wonderful meal of spaghetti bolognaise with garlic bread, cheesecake and apple pie with custard for dessert. The discussions were really quite good and for the first time it was light outside when we left and not raining - a sure sign summer is on it's way!
Friday morning I was feeling really rough again, tired and weak but restless so went in town shopping. I bought some books - Twilight and New Moon by Stephenie Meyer recommended by Rob, Into The Wild by Jon Krakauer and a book called The Believers for my neighbour Heidi. After that I went to the chaplaincy, too late for bible brunch unfortunately.
Rob came in for a while then we went to his room in halls to listen to music. He got changed into his New Rock boots and new grungy trousers then we went in town. I bought some razor earings for my first holes and handcuff earings for my second. I then got some more black nail varnish as mine was all dried up. I got some black grungy denim shorts and a bicycle chain to hang off them from the pocket. We then had kfc before going back to the book shop. I wanted to show Rob the fantasy section which is rather good and I was told my friend Sarah-Jayne was working in the afternoon so wanted to say hi to her. We saw her in there and chatted for ages. She recommended Dark Lover by J.R.Ward so I bought that too. (which I am reading now it's fab!)
After the book shop I was feeling exhausted and boiling hot I didn't quite know why. I felt like I needed a nap and as we were going out that night I decided to go home for a bit even though the plan was to go back to Robs and listen to music I just had to rest instead. I spent the rest of the afternoon/evening chilling on facebook pretty much not mving off my sofa and cooling down. When the time came I changed and went to meet Rob in Voodoo. We had a few drinks there with the rest of the Roc Soc then all walked down to C103's for rock night. I don't mind telling you that I felt wierd and tired walking down to the club. I lagged behind all the way, overheating and sweating I put it down to being so overweight and that much older than everyone else.
I won't go into too much detail about the rest of the night I want to cut this short and get to bed, basically I drank vodka redbulls and J.D n cokes. Rob danced lots, I met up with Lukie, Allan and Lisa which was fab. The music was great, a good time was had by all and I was utterly exhausted earlier than usual and went home before closing which I have never done in my life! Good times though!
I felt wierd at home, like I was drunk but not drunk. Sort of like my head was on fire and I was dizzy and confused. I laid down but felt worse so stood up again and walked around the flat. Eventually I was so tired that I fell asleep on the sofa watching Ally McBeal.
Saturday I felt weak and lethargic but also really unsettled, just unwell really. I spent the day just relaxing doing housework and not much to report. I put it down to being old and recovering from the night before even though I hadn't got drunk and have never felt bad before.
Sunday was more fun, I woke up early feeling still a bit wierd but more like gasping for air than hot but still wierd and uncomfortable. I got dressed and took myself for a 6am walk around where I live in Mount Wise.
It was very pretty and about to be a lovely day so it should've been nice but I felt unwell and laboured all the way. I put it down to being so overweight and thought the exercise probably would have done me good. When I got home I felt so hot and dizzy and sick that I had a shower and sat in shorts and vest with all my wondows open. My wet hair helped me to cool down and feel better then I had to get out of the flat again so at 9am I went to go to the carboot sale down the road
.
I text mum as I walked down the hill and she was awake so I hopped on the bus to go to her place so we could go to the carboot sale together. We got down to the carboot in pretty good time and it was packed. I had already decided that I was going to buy a bike if I saw one as I had been feeling so ill all week I wanted to lose weight and get fit to feel better, the time had come to do something.
Wierd how things happen when you think back but I had taken £30 with me. I saw and bought two bikes, one for me and one for mumsie which the guy did a deal on for just £24. Bargain. Mum and I rode around the park a bit like kids before bringing the bikes back to mine. I fitted some water bottles on to them and locked them up in my hallway. We then went to Halfords to look for a bike carrier for the back of the car. They were too expensive though. We had pasties (possibly my last for a long time) then came home. Mum had to babysit that night.
I had planned to call my friends Paul and Carly and see if it was ok to go over there Sunday night but I was feeling rough again so stayed in and chilled on the sofa playing Sims 2 as usual if I'm feeling poorly or rough that's the game I choose. I've played it for such a long time now I don't need to use my brain much which is what I felt like doing. I have all the addons and stuffs (16 in total, 8 addons and 8 stuffs) so it's still never boring. This time I was building a country mansion with extensive grounds modelled on a mansion I saw on the programme Grand Designs. I digress!
Monday much of the same, feeling ill, revising and chilling etc. Tuesday was yesterday my chemistry exam and last exam. It went rather well. Not half as bad as I expected and I think I did alright. Afterwards my friend Nick and I went to see if he can transfer from Extended Science onto a History degree in september instead which looks promising then we went to chat to our tutor. I asked about re-doing the year and he said it's up to the board I will find out my options in August but will probably be redoing exams in the summer if not redoing the whole year. I will only have to redo subjects I didn't pass which will be maths and stats only I hope.
I met Vicky in the chaplaincy once her exam had finished and we chatted for a while, joining in with the lunch with everyone. At 4pm when it closed I walked to my bus stop and went to mums for tea. I was feeling really ill by this point like I was burning up. I had a really bad migrain and had to strip to try to cool as my head felt like it would erupt. I really enjoyed my meal but felt so poorly that I had to leave early and go home. I stopped in at the coop shop next to my house and was buying water when I felt like I would faint or fall asleep so I rushed home.
I lay on my sofa most of the night not feeling like going to the bed and napping and waking all night feeling very rough indeed. As early as possible this morning I called the doctor and got an appointment asap. Walking over to the docs I wasn't sure what I was going to say was wrong with me and explaining it was almost impossible. The doctor was unsure what I was in for until I said I had been very thirsty.
He made me go off and do a urine sample which came back possitive for sugar and protein then took my blood pressure which apparently was dangerously high. He even said he was surprised I wasn't ill to which I replied I was!! I explained the migrains and the hot fushes, palpatations, weakness etc etc. He said I may have diabetes and he's booked me in for a blood test which I have to fast for beforehand. Once that is done I will know more but my blood pressure was 155 over something I didn't hear which is bad. (?) He sent me home worried sick not knowing what to do to improve my situation and told me just to rest.
I've spent the day pretty much not resting enough, worried sick, feeling rough, weak and crappy. I did spend some time down Heidis (my neighbour) which was nice because I had my mind taken off things for a little while. It was lovely to hold Daisy who is now 3 months old. I've mostly chilled on facebook etc today playing Bejeweled Blitz and having company without having company. Mum did say I could go over hers but I barely made it to the docs or the coop today so didn't go.
Sam and Toni did pop over to Heidis to use the phone for taking Smokey (Jynx's auntie) to the vets foaming at the mouth and possibly having fits. Don't know if no news is good news but neither Heidi or I have heard from them since even though they said they would be right over to tell us what happened so fingers crossed. They invited me over theirs which I didn't feel I should go either. Heidi was very welcoming but I felt like I wanted to be home, not alone but at least home and noone came over mine so I was alone but for the cats. Monty knows I am not well as he has been Mr.Clingy all week not leaving my side for a second and unable to sleep unless at least his paw is on me. What he doesn't realise is that he makes me even hotter!! Bless.
Oh yeah almost forgot, the runner beans I started as just little beans in pots all that time ago are now beasts, I repotted them this morning before I went to the doctors.
I took pics of around my house too this week, view from the bus stop looking back at my place and the building going on in my street.
Feeling really sleepy now, love you lots and I'll write again soon! xxxxx
2 comments:
First i want to say in as loving a way as possible that you should know better then to blame feeling poorly on being "old and overweight" You may be older then some of your freinds or heavier, but you are pretty fit. You are walking everywhere you go and those hikes and walks in darthmouth, i couldn;t do that, i would be winded in about 5 seconds flat, and the dancing, so.. no, Something is wrong!
No, don;t worry, it is very easy to get your Diabetes under control if you have that. Aren;t you taking metformin still? That is supposed to help with the pre-diabetic state so the metabolic disorder doesn;t get worse.. if you aren;t on it you should ask the doctor about it. Also there is something called Gluberide that you can take that lowers your blood suger.
The hardest part for me when I was diabetic during pregnancy was cutting out fruit. I could still have ice cream and cookies and snacks (because they make so many suger free tasty ones) but you can;t really get much sugar free fruit.
The other thing you MUST do, is eat every 2 hours... Seriously. Crackers and oeanut Butter, a Slice of cheeze and 1/2 a banana, a peice of Chicken, something very little and something with protien every two hours, not only will this help you blood sugar, but it will keep your energy level high, and help you loose weight, because your body doesn;t think you are starving.
I think your blood pressure was high because of the stress of exams and being ill, I don't think it is permanetly high and you have to worry about it, but if your cholestorol, or triglicerides are high, there is something called Niaspan you can take to help that as well and to help the blood pressure.
Now I have to ask.. Why haven;t you went to your statistics lectures, it won;t be any better the second time around, and you are just prolonging the suffering, eventually you will have to sit through it.
Secondly, didn't your tutor make provisions for you to take the exam in a seperate room by yourself. I thought that was the plan. You definately need to do that next time so that you don;t have to stress about anyone else.
Also, you abviously have anxiety and panic issues, can;t they give you something for that like paxil or zoloft, you should not have to suffer where there are medications that can help regulate that, a lot of the anxiety is related to hormone imbalances and the medication can help.
OK.. I love you and hope you feel better. I think the bikes are wonderful, and will be so much fun and I loved the pictures of Uni and your place and the walk.
Please don't be down on yourself.. You aren't smoking again are you? You can do anything you put your mind too, you just need to focus and have the right supports in place. I beleive in you.
You're just so smart, I wish I could be more like you and so sensible. I wish I had read this comment earlier too. I never have been on metformin, I probably should've been with metabolic syndrome x but never had any of the follow up appointments but I am now on that.
I am finding it hard to eat little and often as I forget. I am so used to going so long between meals but it's a learning curve and I'm getting better.
Triglicerides!! That's the thingies beginning with L I was going on about in my blog, I couldn't remember the name from so many hours ago, lol.
I also thought I would be in an exam by myself and trust me when I say I will be kicking up one hell of a fuss about it next time I am in uni as I am very unhappy about my experiences.
I couldn't face stats lectures as the tutor locks the doors to prevent late comers. As I am probably redoing the year (very happily doing so) it will all be talked about with my dissability advisor. I will be raising lots of issues and have been given an advisor lady called Kathy Fox I will be meeting next week. xx
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